Is there some sort of Seasonal Affective Disorder that happens in the Spring? Or maybe like an allergy to sun & warmer temps? Because I am MEH.
Blah.
My mood is like cold oatmeal these days. Grayish, lumpy and BLAAAAAH.
I wish I could blame this on depression of some sort, but I know this isn’t that. I actually am excited to see what happens, or could happen next. But I need whatever that is to happen soon. I need something new, something interesting. I think all of those things are on the horizon…they’re just not RIGHT NOW.
I’m having a hard time finding food I want to cook because there’s no one to cook for and no one to enjoy it with. I’m perfectly ok with eating a sweet potato for dinner. I have the Epicurean range of a newborn.
I’m constantly listening to NPR because NOTHING sounds interesting on the radio.
My life seems to be lacking the components of what makes up a great rock song (and life). I’ve got no highs, no bass, no lows. My life is feeling like the equivalent of that voice immodulation character Will Ferrell came up with. One note. One key on a keyboard with someone pushing on it.
Dating feels formulaic. There’s one dinner, and then another, then a bar, then dinner. This cannot be the way to forge a relationship. How is one supposed to learn about another person when you see that person once a week, for dinner (or somesuch)?
My pseudo sex life (unrelated to dating) should be an interesting part of my life. It’s not. It’s the same thing. Same conversation. Same sentences (yes, it’s “long distance”, don’t judge me). SAME THING REPEATED OVER & OVER.
Things feel colorless. Like one of those paint by numbers forms just waiting to be filled in.
I don’t even have a pithy little remark to end this burlap sack of a post.
Pffftttt.
let’s meet in Bali, plenty of food and sex and color there. I am sure of it.
Hmm…Bali does sound nice. It might be a little far though. What about Portugal? That’s got all the good stuff too.
Ohhh, my dear. I HEAR YOU. Ever since I got back from Europe, I’ve felt the same way—like I am just itching for SOMETHING. Something!! And I don’t know what that something is. I just want it already.
Why am I not surprised that you get EXACTLY what I’m saying?
I can feel it coming, and I know what’s possible…I’m just READY TO GO!
just stumbled across your blog, and this line: “My life is feeling like the equivalent of that voice immodulation character Will Ferrell came up with” completely describes how I have been feeling for the last 2.6 months.
It’s weird how many of us with depression & anxiety etc are feeling it extra hard this year…