Is there some sort of Seasonal Affective Disorder that happens in the Spring? Or maybe like an allergy to sun & warmer temps? Because I am MEH.
My mood is like cold oatmeal these days. Grayish, lumpy and BLAAAAAH.
I wish I could blame this on depression of some sort, but I know this isn’t that. I actually am excited to see what happens, or could happen next. But I need whatever that is to happen soon. I need something new, something interesting. I think all of those things are on the horizon…they’re just not RIGHT NOW.
I’m having a hard time finding food I want to cook because there’s no one to cook for and no one to enjoy it with. I’m perfectly ok with eating a sweet potato for dinner. I have the Epicurean range of a newborn.
I’m constantly listening to NPR because NOTHING sounds interesting on the radio.
My life seems to be lacking the components of what makes up a great rock song (and life). I’ve got no highs, no bass, no lows. My life is feeling like the equivalent of that voice immodulation character Will Ferrell came up with. One note. One key on a keyboard with someone pushing on it.
Dating feels formulaic. There’s one dinner, and then another, then a bar, then dinner. This cannot be the way to forge a relationship. How is one supposed to learn about another person when you see that person once a week, for dinner (or somesuch)?
My pseudo sex life (unrelated to dating) should be an interesting part of my life. It’s not. It’s the same thing. Same conversation. Same sentences (yes, it’s “long distance”, don’t judge me). SAME THING REPEATED OVER & OVER.
Things feel colorless. Like one of those paint by numbers forms just waiting to be filled in.
I don’t even have a pithy little remark to end this burlap sack of a post.